Your tiny hands

jasmineangel @ 2008-11-01T03:26:00

2008-11-01T08:29:54Z

Halloween Pt. 2....a little creepier.

jasmineangel @ 2008-11-01T03:05:00

2008-11-01T08:06:02Z

Hallowiener Pictures!

whoa!

2008-10-31T23:25:32Z

I made a cake from scratch and i'm sure its heavenly.
It has carrots and is a cake, so its a no go for me.

Man, today has been awesome. It seems the only time i feel better is when i'm cooking or snugglin'.
Don't even try to say that domesticated shit. I'm just good at what I do. :)
Suck my nuts. hahah

Happy Halloween everyone!

and...i've decided the world is waaaay to spoiled to withstand another depression.
It was different then because no one had to buy all the fancy shit to pass the time.
Whatever. Just a random.

True Story!

2008-10-31T03:23:00Z

Rain by Shel Silverstein

I opened my eyes
And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into my brain,
And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.

I step very softly,
I walk very slow,
I can't do a handstand--
I might overflow,
So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said--
I'm just not the same since there's rain in my head.

Imperfect Beings.

2008-10-31T01:27:14Z

You were my life preserver in a very difficult time.
I wanted to die and you gave me something to do...someone to talk to.

I'm sorry if i acted out of line.
I love Andrew more than anything
and I've been showing it more and he has too.

Eeeeek! Andrew is giving boogers a bath. He sounds soooo happy!

Postal Trips.

2008-10-30T08:12:28Z

So, I guess we're Michigan bound again next month.
Andrews "last" show.

I hate the trendy, my mom bought me a lexusblahblahblah shit.

Jonathan, you still gonna try to go?
We'll get real smashed and curse the world.
Ready for a go with that?

Cause I totally am.
and there is always one more seat in the car...
so, anyone who needs to get out...I understand strongly that winter depression is about to hit big time..

I'll be the waterwings that save you if you
start drowning in an open tab when your
judgement's on the brink.
I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite
albums back as your lying there drifting off
to sleep.
I'll be the platform shoes and undo what
heredity's done to you: you won't have to
strain to look into my eyes.
I'll be your winter coat buttoned and zipped
straight to the throat with the collar up so
you won't catch cold.

I want to take you far away from the cynics in this
town and kiss you on the mouth.
we'll cut our bodies free from the tethers of
this scene, start a brand new colony
where everything will change, we'll give
ourselves new names, identities erased.
the sun will heat the grounds under our bare
feet in this brand new colony.
    The Postal Service.
In my head like whoa.

everything will change...

jasmineangel @ 2008-10-29T23:03:00

2008-10-30T04:06:25Z

pictures_of_ewe ...

Silly Cure reference. Pictures of you was taken. go figure!

I was going to bitch.

2008-10-30T00:43:30Z

But, I have a loving cat, husband(still weird), and 2 new video games that are super awesome.
I also don't have to call in to work for the next 2 days...so, that's exciting for me.

So, the doctor set up another appointment for next Wednesday. He said I could have 5 things wrong. So, next wed. i will be having a lot of tests done and spending money i don't have on a dumb weirdness. I'm getting really down about this stuff and i wanna apologize to my friends that have come over or seen me...I know that i haven't been in the best mood...but, you guys' presence makes my day a little brighter. So...thank you more than you know for that.

I had the craziest dream last night. I woke up semi happy which is a rarity lately. I drempt about a friend who, i imagine, is done talking to me. We talked and hung out the whole dream and there was no stress. It was weird really. I have been dreaming about the most god awful shit lately and it was a really nice detour from that route.

I'm trying to keep my spirits up (haha...Halloween joke?) for this Halloween party. I am so excited about seeing everyone in one spot, drinking, and being silly. I miss it. I feel as if I'm having to grow up a bit lately and i need a little fun along with this mess.

I have a folder to read and sign about all the things they are going to do to me. The nurse advised me not to eat anything before coming...i explained to her that i rarely eat before 4 or 5 anyhow and that i would not be sharing my lunch with them that day. I was also told not to wear makeup for some reason. Not really a big deal. The only time i really wear makeup is when i feel like it and i haven't really felt like dealing with that as well. :) Halloween is a different story.

Does anyone around here have legwarmers i can borrow for friday? I am going to be quite cold and i've revised my costume to include leg warmers. If not, where the hell are they cheap at?

Ooooh! They put me in a very very very small soundproof room. I thought that was going to make me sick. I have space issues...They plugged my ears up and made me repeat stuff and press buttons when i heard shrill noises. It was gross and i felt like i was in a concentration camp. Just kidding. It wasn't that gross. haha

Someone come play little big planet with me. I've decorated my pretend house all pretty like. :)

Dinner Time.

jasmineangel @ 2008-10-29T02:25:00

2008-10-29T07:28:07Z

Jonathan is about to cry cause chimps are cannibalistic.
It's kinda cute. :)

I think I'm excited about this weekend.
I guess before i get too excited, I'll have to see what the Dr. says tomorrow.

Oh wait, this cannibalistic chimp stuff is sad.

Thank god.

2008-10-27T22:52:55Z

Thank god i don't have to go anywhere really...cept walmart to get stuff to make pies.
Its given me an excuse to not even look at a bra.
The one i wore for nancy and daves party made my side bleed a little...
I'm taking a break.

I will sit my bra down and have a serious talk with it.
I'm pretty sure i'll break down before it does.

After all these posts, have none of you decided to come save me?

hahah

Someone be my the hobbs to my calvin this weekend.
Like so...

Yup, thats about right.
Lets dance all night and forget everything.
and I'm thinking the party Friday should be a memorial to matt, kinda.
build a big fire and drink and laugh at how things used to be.

Bright Eyes.

2008-10-27T09:04:07Z

Is it true what I heard about the Son of God
Did he come to save, did he come at all
And if I dried his feet
With my dirty hair
Would he make me clean again

They say they don't know when but a day is gonna come
When there won't be a moon and there won't be a sun
It will just go black
It will just go back
To the way it was before

I knew a lovely girl with such pretty pride
And every man wanted her and so did I
And so did I
But she up and died
In a fit of vanity

Now men with purple hearts carry silver guns
And they will kill a man for what his father has done
But what my father did
You know it don't mean shit
I'm not him

And you think I need some discipline well I've had my share
I have been sent to my room, I've been sat in a chair
And I held my tongue
I didn't plug my ears
No I got a good talking to

Now I don’t know why but I still try to smile
When they talk at me like I’m just a child
Well I’m not a child
No I am
Much younger than that

And now I have read some books and I have grown quite brave
If I could just speak up I think I would say
That there is no truth
There is only you
And what you make the truth

So I will just sing my songs and I'll pass a hat
Then I'll leave your town and I'll never look back
No I don't look back
Because the road is clear
Layed out ahead of me

I'll get home and meet my friends at our favorite bar
We'll get some lighter heads for our heavy hearts
And we will share a drink
Yeah we'll share our fears
And they will know how I love them
They will know how I love
They will know how I love them
I am nothing without their love

Now I don't know when but a day is gonna come
When there won't be a moon and there won't be a sun
It will all go black
It will all go back
To the way it is supposed to be

Is it true what they say about the Son of God
Did he die for us, did he die at all
And if I sold my soul
For a bag of gold
To you which one of us would be the foolish one
Which one if us would be the fool
Which one if us would be the fool
Which one if us would be the fool

Could you please start explaining
You know I need some understanding
I could do with some explaining
You know I want to understand

I miss my dog.

2008-10-27T08:40:35Z

She was cute.
I forgot how much i loved her til i saw this picture.

She didn't chase the goddamned cars like kennys dog.
:)

but, now i have this...

My 16 pound pain in the ass!
Hooray!

Costume, kinda.

2008-10-27T00:43:12Z

Invisivision.

2008-10-26T10:06:03Z

Oh man! I get it now!

Some people are so clever.
Uncanny.

Dreamer.

2008-10-26T10:00:04Z

Nothing I type tonight is going to sound good to me.
I have so many words and so few are expressible.

I feel like I've had about 10 lives.
I've exceeded all expectations for a cat...I guess I'll have to rethink what I am.

Perhaps I'll be the mouse that used to live in my house.
I would've never killed him despite him being quite unwelcome...
He was clever. Traps were set and every morning the cheese was gone and it had not been sprung.
Maybe he was the Mr. Bojangles that I thought i had at one time.
That lil guy was a rat bastard. Literally.

I don't know how to live my life anymore.
Nothing i say is relevant to anything but i like to just type when i do.
I'll read this a few years down the road and laugh at what an insecure wreck i was.
I've been saying that for years.

I'm ready to laugh.
a lot.

I'm ready to be good at something.
It seems like some people have all the talent.

I got an old friend back.
That makes me really happy. He helped me through one of the hardest times in my life when I was in Michigan. I would've gone insane if I was left at the house for 2 weeks with nothing or nobody that I thought cared about anything I had to say. I now have a singing skeleton love and no one to laugh as hard at it with me. I wish I was in Detroit right now. I'd go watch a Red Wings game and sit by the fountain i played in barefooted.

My stomach is starting to hurt again. I don't get why one thing can't get better and then the other thing come back. I'm not dealing to well with everything.

I'll live.
Someone tell me to stop being a goddamned baby.

I hope I don't get fired from Verizon.

Cath...

2008-10-26T08:24:28Z

The first time i heard the radiohead song, i almost lost it.
It's perfect.

Mary.

2008-10-25T11:03:18Z

I have a new best friend. Her name is Mary.

You'd all like her too.

HAHA

Meshability

2008-10-25T05:49:07Z

I am so excited about tomorrow. I get to dress up and feel normal for once.
Things are getting better. I am so happy with life in so many different ways.

I am also have not gotten better. I'm still so dizzy but I'm going to ignore it tomorrow.
I wanna take bunch of pictures and post em and look at them everyday and smile.
:) like that, i guess.

i wish that i could mesh michigan and alabama and have people meet people and get to hang out with me.

mememe.
lame.

Finding ways to take my mind off things.

2008-10-23T10:30:47Z

Jesus Forking Christ, I'm bored and bleh.

Nights like this

2008-10-23T06:56:42Z

It's nights like this when I think about Matt.
I miss CD Exchange and over the racks volleyball.
I miss keeping the store open until 5 or 6 am just so everyone could hang out.
We've all fallen apart. I don't care for most people more so than I used to. I don't think it's so much me being a bitch or being bipolar or anything...I think I've grown up a lot more than most of those people.

Matt was always a center of gravity for our crew at the time. The only person you could be yourself around and know that things were cool. I remember the night he died. I talk about this a lot but I think if i were to die, this is something i would want people to remember...
It was when i was with Nate...He was being an idiot, as per usual, so I decided to sit by Matt and act all silly. I put my arm around his shoulder and told Nate that Matt was my boyfriend now...and Matt was all "what cha think about that, bitch". Which was completely out of character...He had chocolate milk and I thought we were all invincible that night. I'm always wrong. Always.

It's always the people that make you want to live that leave your life.

I miss you Matt. A lot.
I wish you could meet Andrew. He's a pain in the ass but I think he's good for me. He lifts me up when I'm down, unless he caused it...then he pretty much stays out of the way. Kinda smart of him, right?
Oh man, I've made some epic mistakes since you've been gone. I moved to Michigan and was left behind so much i didn't recognize my surroundings when I was picked back up. I met someone who I think is going to be one of my best friends for a long time. Actually a few people that are good friends now. I wish you could've met them.

I also did something I thought I'd never do, I got married. The ceremony was amazing. I had my friends and some drinks and lost like 56457 different pieces of identification. That was rad.
Being married is frustrating. Sometimes i feel as if i've beat my head against a wall so much that my heart is pouring out through my head. Nothing is easy, right?
I'm building a new house that i care nothing about. It's a house. I would be just as content to live on the streets as long as there was something new to do every now and again.
I fall in love with the idea of people and am quickly let down. I figured out that i'm bipolar but you probably knew that.

Why don't you come back? I have a lot of computer games and we could talk for years. I miss you.

Remember that time that I was wondering where you were and i called you and you were a table apart from me? I'm kinda dumb that way.

Well...I think of you often and I hope you're somewhere where you can catch a glimpse of everything you loved. Nine Inch Nails are kinda going downhill...It's not horrible but i dont think it'll ever be the same.

anyhow. I hope where you are is beautiful and has lots of naked ladies for you. That would be rad, right? :)

Love always,
Jasmine.

Lost and Found.

2008-10-23T05:40:32Z

Found the perfect costume.
Could have it by tomorrow.
Andrew wont let me get it.

Oh the joys of being married to a tight wad.

Love is...

2008-10-18T10:34:05Z

sacrifice.

what they don't tell you is that it is always one sided.
it wouldve been a wonderful day to rot in hell...unfortunately, i was suck here dealing with incompetent doctors and people that wanted to have a serious talk while i was trying to sleep. (It was even worse cause i took the sleeoy pills to make me sleep)

Ahoy Matey.

2008-10-14T08:23:34Z

I am pissed today so I wanted to write something positive.

I think it kicked in that i was getting married when my mom walked in the room and turned around and started bawling. (it was really cute)
I keep thinking about that and everything else and i am happy.

well, not at the moment...but, in general.

you get the forking idea.

this is why i am putting these up...no matter how shitty my day is and all i have to do is look up
and there is all my family and friends.
Everything I love all in one place.

rad!

Pretending I can fly.

2008-10-13T23:38:19Z

Happy Face.

2008-10-12T11:41:13Z